Tuesday, May. 02, 2006

Casual... WHAT?!

Warning: This entry contains racy words and subject matter. I just include this disclaimer for all the young'uns and easily-offendables out there who might read. You've been warned.

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Every time I think of a new topic to write about on this h'yar journal, part of my brain thinks a couple of disparaging comments: 1) every online diarist in the three closest universes has already written about that, and 2) you're going to show off your ignorance and your lack of hip 'net cred by coming so late to the party. Part of this comes from reading other journals and having other peoples' entries spark a good story of my own, and another part is just good old fashioned insecurity that people will come here, start to read my entry and roll their eyes, all "This is SO last week!" and be all flouncy about it.

That's a neat word. Flouncy.

Anyway, now, with all that blathering out of the way...

Have y'all read the "casual encounters" sections on Cr@ig's List?

Dude. No, seriously. And no, before any of y'all ask, I wasn't looking for a hookup. Honestly, I thought "casual encounter" meant "who wants to meet up for coffee?" or something similarly, you know, casual.

Um. No. No, no, no. "Casual encounter" is a euphemism for "People who want to screw". I clicked on it out of curiosity, and when I saw the disclaimer screen, it gave me pause. "Where the heck are these people meeting for coffee?!" I thought.

Well, there's very little coffee drinking involved on these threads. Unless it also involves a one-night-stand, a picture of some guy naked from the waist down, and a request by the guy in the aforementioned crotch shot to have someone pee on him. While they're drinking coffee, maybe.

And what's up with those? The naked crotch shots? Do those really... work? I mean, I understand why a person wouldn't want to show a picture of their face, especially in a thread like this one. But, I'll tell you, I've got an image in my head of a guy walking into a public restroom, bellying up to a urinal next to another guy who is taking care of business. Dude #1 glances over at Dude #2 while taking his leak and exclaims, "Hey! Didn't I see you on Cr@ig's List?!"

My brain... a scary and exotic place, I tell you.

Another thing that probably shocked me more than maybe it should have was the sheer number of married men who were trolling for action while their wives were out of town, or while they were away from home on business trips. That really turned my stomach. It makes me wonder how well it works, this online hookup board. There are some posts that are from people who are basically sitting at home, wanting a booty call, like, right this second. I wonder what the success rate is, so to speak.

It also makes me want to tell women who have husbands who travel for work to insist that Hubby quit and pick up a position at the local supermarket or something, anything to keep him away from far-off hotels.

One thing that galls me, that has nothing to do with the actual content of the ads -- and this isn't just restricted to this thread on this one website -- why can't people take 30 seconds and run their damn ad through spellcheck? Why?! I just... I don't... what the f... I can't... WHY?!

Drives. Me. Freaking. BANANAS. "im" is not a word. No, it's not. It's "I'm". And if you can't even bother to capitalize the I and use the apostrophe, you don't deserve the blowjob you're asking for. Okay? Okay. Spellcheck. Learn it. Love it.

(I almost said "insert the apostrophe" but I snickered myself out of it.)

I know some people might think me a grammar snob for making comments about other people's spelling and punctuation faux pax, but... good gracious gods on pogo sticks, people. We're talking a basic grasp of communication, here, not quantum mechanics. Some of the sentences cannot even be translated, the spelling is so bad and the punctuation is so random. Of course, spellcheck probably wouldn't help much in a situation like that, but even that would be a start. If you run a spellcheck over your ad and it blinks at you and says, "Excuse me, what the blue fuck is all that gibberish?", then you have a problem. And, likely, any humans reading the ad will ask the same question. So, in conclusion, y'all don't have to be able to discuss the finer points of the transitive verb at a wine-and-cheese party, but please learn or remember that a period at the end of the sentence keeps shit from running all together.

Anyway, if you're bored and you'd like an interesting look at an online subculture, go on over and look at that CE thread. Of course, it's not workplace-friendly, unless you work for a porn producer. Then, it might be a good place to pick up movie ideas.

saturncat at 12:31 a.m.

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