Monday, Dec. 04, 2006

Nice Slippers!

For I am tired and ill, and because my mind is mush and coming up with my own topic is kind of like an old-tymie prospector panning an entire river for gold and coming up with nothing but sandy sludge in her dented metal pan, I'm going to borrow from the Holidailies Prompts again. Likely the second time of many.

So, my favorite shopping-mall horror story? Hm. I'm afraid this is rather generic and not very entertaining. Mostly because I don't really do the whole shopping-mall thing, at the holidays or any other time. The story is as follows -- it was December, about twenty years ago. It was a mall-adjacent department store, and I was looking at slippers that I was thinking about getting for my mom for Christmas. There was one pair left, of the color and size that I wanted, and I was standing at the display, my hand resting on the top of the box, as I was considering. The store was busy but not insane, and while the place was crowded and I kept getting brushed by passing shoppers, it was hard to ignore the dotty old bag who had taken up residence at my right shoulder. Like, I could feel her breath on my neck, she was standing that close. I would have turned and looked at her, but I think I would have ended up kissing her, just by turning my head her direction. Yes, *that* close.

I was only a teenager, and a pretty standoffish one at that, so this sort of weird old-lady schtick really creeped me out. I decided I didn't want the slippers (the price wasn't really that great), and the moment I took my hand off the box, Creepy Old Bat's hand struck out like lightning to snatch them off the shelf. Before I could even give an astonished 'WTF?', she turned and scuttled away like a dung beetle with its ass on fire. I beat a path in the exact opposite direction -- out into the mall and into the welcoming din of a kajillion brusque strangers who would likely notice a weird old woman trying to follow me with intent to molest.

Sheesh, and for a pair of slippers? For $20? Really? No "Pardon me, are you going to buy those?", no "If you're not going to get those, could you please move?", no nothing. Just invading my space until I wigged. What a modus operandi, eh?

Anyway, I apologize for the lack of any sort of a climactic, uh, anything there. Again, it's been a long week. And it's only Monday...

saturncat at 9:53 p.m.

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