Monday, Dec. 18, 2006

Phone Meme


This Monday entry brought to you by...

Monday Madness

1. I get about _______ telemarketer phone calls on a daily basis.

Forty-eleven hundred. And three. At least, that's what it seems like. And I'm not even home most of the day. But, on average, from the hours of 6-9 pm, we get at least one telemarketer call an hour, and a whole bunch more than that when it's around election time. Holy cow, do the politicians hit the phones then, thick as blue eyeshadow on a trailer-trash princess.

And, while I'm here, what's the deal with the telemarketer recordings? It's like, we're going to call your house, interrupt your dinner or whatever else you were doing, to play a recording for you to listen to where we try and sell you stuff! Yay! Only, not yay. Does anyone actually listen to these? In my house if we pick up the phone and hear, "*muffled click* Hey, friend! This is nameIdon'tknow, from companyI'veneverheardof...", that's the end. *click!*


2. I never call anyone after _______ at night.

I was raised to never call anyone after 9pm unless it's an emergency. I do bend these rules occasionally, but generally, I stick to this.

3. I never call anyone before _______ in the morning.

10am. Unless I'm, say, calling to make a doctor's appointment during the week, and then I call whenever they open (8-9am). But if I'm calling a friend on the weekend? 10am is generally the earliest. I don't sleep in a lot these days, with a 2-year-old in the house, but I remember what it's like to sleep in on the weekends. I am NOT going to be "that person" who calls at 8am on Sunday. The only exception is if someone's expecting me to call so we can set up a brunch time or something.


4. I (please choose one) DO or DON'T screen my phone calls via caller ID.

I only have caller ID on my cell, but I DO use it to screen, absolutely. I'm not supposed to be on my cell while working. So, if it's during working hours and I'm not on my lunch or one of my breaks, I only answer the phone if it's day care calling about my kid. Anyone else, and they can leave a voice mail and I'll call back when I can. So, it's not a sign of me ignoring your call, it's a sign of me not wanting to get fired, mostly.

And at home? No caller ID. We do use the answering machine to screen, though -- see above re: forty-eleven hundred and three telemarketers calling a day.

5. I really should call _______ more often.

Heh. Probably everyone. I have this... thing, with the phone. It's not exactly a fear, but not exactly a preference. I love hearing from my friends. I want to call people sometimes. I think about it a lot. I even set aside blocks of time to do it, some days. And then, it's like my brain gives Aragon's speech in "Return of the King" and is all, "...but not THIS day!" and I completely forget about it. And I mean *completely*, like the thoughts never even existed, and I putter along my merry way until the block of time has elapsed or it's too late. *Then* I remember. And I swear and mentally thrash around, and feel horribly guilty. Rinse and repeat.

I don't know what it is, or why it is, but it is. I do work on it, and make myself answer the phone when my knee-jerk instinct is to run away. However, as I get older, I've learned two things: 1) the older I get, the worse it gets, and 2) I'm not alone. I used to think I was a freak about this, and that no one else felt the same way. But, as I've aged, I've met, heard about or read about others who deal with the same bizarre quirk. Which is both weird and comforting.

So, there it is -- yet another peek through the dusty, yellowed windows and into the attic that is my mental processes. Next up, that dusty trunk full of old clothes that belong to no era whatsoever, yet brim with nostalgia. And rows of oddly bunched ruffles.

saturncat at 11:01 p.m.

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