Saturday, Dec. 23, 2006

Stopping In A Retail Line On A Snowy Evening


I was at the store today (I say like there's only one store in all of creation)... so I was at *A* store today, finishing up some last minute, stocking-stuffery type acquiring. The lines were hyoo-ge and ganormous, which I completely expected. So, I pushed my meagerly loaded cart to a line with about 5 other people in it, their carts in various stages from "could have gone to the 5 items or fewer line" to "buying out half the goldang store". I pulled the book out of my purse, as I always have one on hand, and settled in for a good 20 minute wait.

Now, I don't enjoy standing in lines, in the slightest. But, there's a certain amount of reasonable expectation that needs to be displayed during such a busy time. Getting all cheesed off at standing in line, or loudly commenting to the air that it's ridiculous that there are lines, or stomping around from line to line like Peter at the beginning of "Office Space" where he's all lane-changey during his morning commute, only to have traffic move the slowest wherever he happens to be -- these actions and behaviors will not get the lines to move any faster, and will not get you through the process any quicker. Just cool your heels and don't be a jackass.

But, of course, this world sees no shortage of jackasses. I was about 4 pages into my book when a woman about my age pulls up behind me... actually, to the side of me, and starts peering imperiously down the row of carts in front of me. She lets out a put-upon sigh and mutters something about "not fair", and just continues to stand there. For a few moments, I thought Princess might decide to cut in front of me, since she is so important and so much a victim of the Not Fair-y, and then there would have been A Situation which would have required a fire hose and a crow bar.

But, she didn't do that. I figured out a few minutes later that she didn't choose a line, but was kind of hanging out in the midst of many of them so that she could pounce on the fastest moving one. Which turned out to be... none of them. However, that didn't stop her from rushing over to a different line every three minutes or so. And each time she did that, the line would slow to a crawl and she'd come fuming back over to stand beside me and give her murmured theories about the questionable parentage of the store management and the unFAIRness of it all, since she only had three items in her cart, oh my suns and moons, she should be allowed to go FIRST, and even the express lanes were moving too slowly.

It was all I could do not to laugh at her. I mean, seriously? You come to a popular store, two days before a major holiday, and you expect a two minute turnaround? Hopefully, one of your three items is a clue.

Finally, I got up to the register, put my book away and unloaded my stuff on the belt. Princess had charged off again, and holy cow, I hope Santa brings her some patience for Christmas. With a side of brains.

saturncat at 11:47 p.m.

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